Saturday, September 18, 2004
Well, has not been really in a good mood for this past wk. Firstly, stressing over prelims. Secondly, had been thinking a lot about the past. Had been blog hopping around this afternoon too. Read many blogs, saw many entries. Realized that I was not the only one unhappy with life.
Sometimes, all I wish for is for someone to hold me tightly, letting me know that things will be fine. Everything will be over. I will be able to find happiness. It is something so simple, yet something so hard to achieve. Need not need a lover to fit this role. It can be a friend. But friends, they come and go. Reallie have no idea who to trust, who to believe. I am afraid that when I began to trust again, that friend will only turn her back on me. Its scary, it reallie is. Dun tink that im talking about you, you are not the only one who had done this to me. But you are the one who hurt me the most. Because I really cherished this friendship with you. But guess its juz that we do not have the fate to be friends. He told me before, that friends are only a passing phase in my life. I chose not to believe him. But thinking about it now, maybe what he said had been true. He was trying to tell me to protect myself. But I chose to let myself be hurt.
Its been a year. Time really flies. Thinking back, I really enjoyed my sec 3 life, though there were many downs. It is much better than now. At least I had people by my side then. It is so much different now. Things really change. People really drift apart. Nothing remains the same. We all used to be close. We used to share our problems with each other. We used to play together all the time. We used to hang out together. Yah, do you realized? It's all 'used to'.
Alright, im juz grumbling. Reallie rather depressed since yesterday. Cried on the bus home with yinzhen. Been a long time since I cried with someone. Most of the time im juz hiding in my room crying. You have no idea how much tears I cried for you. I dun say anything doesn't mean im not affected. I juz dun say it and show it. That's all.
Better stop typing. This is getting depressing once again. Anyway, thx to Phyllis, sarah n yinzhen who had always been there for me during this period of time. You guys are reallie great. N thx sarah for helping me post. This is a damn long entry.
10:09 PM
would you like to dance with me?
