Dreamt of Izroy. Was pretty shocked when I woke up. It's been like 17 months since I last saw him? Memories, it's a part of me that I will hold dear to my heart. Have never forgotten how he called me, 'kaka'. And points cutely to the cornflakes on the tray. ^.^ Or perhaps, it is his enchanting smile that kept me besotted. =) Love to carry him in my arms, or to hold his small hands in mine and bring him for a walk to the playground. To watch him run and worry that he will fall. Memories.

Iswandi. My 'teddy-bear' boy. Will he remember this 'jie-jie' who held him tight when he was freaked out by the horror movie his parents were watching on his 4th year-old birthday party? Did he remember this 'jie-jie' who held his hand while he kicked at the gate of the store in Chinatown? Well, I have a very strong feeling that he will not. Perhaps, this is the joy of being a child? You forget things and people easily?

Tummy is hurting like anything now. Panadol did nothing but put me to sleep. Didn't go back to school for both chem and gp tests. Pretty irritated. Have no wish to stay back on another day to complete these papers. GP is like 3 hrs odd? -_-''

I will be the most heartbroken girl on the 10/9/06. Nothing on that day will cheer me up. Even if you buy me the orange adidas jacket, I won't smile for you. So depressed. World came crashing down. I so wanted to go. I was praying so hard. I saved so hard. I was actually looking forward to it. Once in 8 years. Yet, at the end of it, I can't go. Hardly use this word, I HATE this!!~~ I repeat. I CAN'T GO!!!

Feeling rather bad. Had been grumbling so much to Penny this past 2 days. Sorry girl. Mood is way way off. All thanks to you. Really feel like punching you across the face, shaking you hard, hitting you till you're senseless before dumping you into the rubbish dump. Latest quote from me, 'Go to hell, and stay there'. Sounds like a jest? At times, you really make me wish that it is true. Mean? Maybe.

To give unconditionally. It already sounds hard. How many people in this world will do everything and anything for another person, and to ask for only a smile in return? Don't be silly. Seriously, I don't believe anyone will. Perhaps, I'm being too realistic. Perhaps, I should start believing in happy endings to make my life easier. Yet, why should I lie to myself?

AH~~ I wanna cut hair!!! I wanna cut it real short, I wanna chop everything off at a go!!! Yet, I can't. Seriously, after typing this post, I realised that I don't have much choice in anything isn't it? I can't seem to make any choices. In fact, there isn't a choice.

A hug. A simple hug.