It's the 25th today. It's been a long time since I last took notice of this number. Remember me speaking of relapse? Really happened. Came back worse than before. I have not slept a wink. Not something to be proud of when exams are round the corner and I'm officially having a fever now. For those who always say I look pale, you can have a look at a flush-face Junie now. Trust me. I have not seen myself so rosy for such a long time. And, as usual, panadol is not helping.

6am. A time I wake up almost everyday for school. It's been only 2 weeks ago, yet it felt like an eternity ago. Children wants to grow up quickly. Yet adults will rather be a child. Irony huh? What's the use of working so hard? When you have no idea what your ambition is.

Relationships between humans. It has always been fragile isn't it? Do you believe in forever? I don't. Cherishing the moment? Sometimes it's not enough isn't it? Friends and enemies. There is only a line in between. Is the line a clear one? Or is it grey? Friends today, enemies tomorrow. Perhaps, something worse than enemies. Strangers. Somehow, I always feel that you should feel happy if someone you cared hates you. It shows that they still care about you enough to hate you. Isn't it much worse if they treat you like strangers? It will be a greater punishment to me if they treat me as a stranger.

Immaturity. Maturity. How do you differentiate them? How do you judge who is immature and who is mature? In the first place, who is capable of judging? Everyone has their own opinions. Will you take a moment to listen to others? Many do not. And I am one of them. Perhaps, like others always say, I'm too stubborn for my own good.

Request and demand. Is demanding nicely a request? What about a request that does not take no for an answer? Is that a demand? How do one differentiate them? Why is it that some people demand? And some people request? Is is really because of the difference in position? Or is it because of one's self-confidence? Or, is it based on the degree of one's selfishness? The thickness of the skin, does it matter too? Perhaps, it is the matter of habit, isn't it? Old habits die hard.

Compromising. To give in. Is it from two parties? Or is it solely one person who is compromising all the time? From my point of view, it is often one party who is compromising. The other party goes on with their ways. Perhaps, my view is biased. There are often many things that I do not know of. Is this really the case? Or is it an excuse? Does high degree of compromising equate to tolerance? If that is the case, I do not think that there will be much hope. There is a limit to tolerance. And that limit, will often be reached.

Everyone will have their own lifestory. Everyone has moments when they're feeling down. Everyone has moments when they are overjoyed. Can you remember the last person you shared your joy with? Can you remember the last person you shared your worries with? Remember to thank them alright? Realised that I often forget to thank people. Taking things for granted. Learn to cherish only after losing it, I do agree with this statement.

18 years. It isn't a lot, yet it isn't little too. There are many things that I will not forget, there are things I forgot, and there are things I want to forget. Perhaps, you will tell me that you do not want to change anything that happened. Cause it shaped you into who you are today. Trust me, there are things I want to change. Not for the better, but for the worse. Perhaps, it is better to destroy it once and for all, than to leave it hanging there in misery. Right?

Random thoughts. Dont know where they came from. Maybe it's just the exam stress talking. Surely doesn't sound like me.